Your World Reflects Your Music

A journal entry

Yesterday was such a pure joy for me. You know when your music syncs up the world around you? When the beat drops soon as the street light changes, or your steps match the rhythm, or even the lyrics sync up to what you’re seeing or doing? It was that kind of day.

The day prior, I was let go from my new job (on the first day). So now my week was suddenly open and I had the day off— free to use it any way I saw fit. It was a completely misty and foggy out, not too cold, and everyone in the city stayed inside it seemed. It was a perfect time for me to venture outside on a long, directionless, walk by myself.

As I walked over the bridge through the dense fog and through the neighborhoods on the cobble streets, I admired the scenery. It was that kind of moody weather that reminded me of my childhood in the Big Woods. It was unusually quiet too. It felt like all the actors took the day off from set. No one was out to bother me on the streets, and I even had the entire park to myself.

I think my absolute pure pleasure of being in the world yesterday helped materialize my physical reality in the moment.

As I entered the park, the song changed from How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead to Suzanne by Leonard Cohen. I walked down the path through the bare trees looking out to the river with boats passing by.

Suzanne takes you down to a place by the river
You can hear the boats go by, you can spend the night forever…

The park was completely empty with only a few joggers passing through the park every other 10-15 minutes or so. I decided to swing on the swing set and watch the cold, river pass by through the very statuesque, bare trees. The surface of the river resembled a freshly harvest gray pearl. The cold mist of the air on my skin felt refreshing.

There’s nothing better than swinging outside to your favorite music with no one around to see. Just me. Alone in the world. So soothing, so freeing, so perfect to me. Arcade Fire, Gorillaz, Johnny Cash, Nick Drake, and Nina Simone played—I remember.

Then, off in the distance I saw a couple walking side by side to towards the river. I couldn’t see their faces, just the back of them strolling along through the fog.

The woman stood out to me in a blue denim jacket, army green pants, and a faded peach-colored satchel bag. Her hair was naturally bright red. The man, slightly taller than the woman was in perfect opposite contrast to her, black hair, dressed in black from head to toe, and long wool coat.

They stopped in front of the river, looking over across the water at the city skyline. she rested her head on his shoulder. And they just stood there for 5 minutes—unnaturally still.

It was truly a scene straight out of a painting by Edvard Munch. True Love Will Find You In The End by Daniel Johnston played in my headphones. It’s a song I usually skip, but I couldn’t help but smile at the picturesque moment.

Long after the couple had disappeared, I was falling into a sleepy trance of the rhythmic swinging back and forth. My hair drenched from the fog, stuck to my face in curls around my forehead and cheeks. My nervous system was so at peace for once, I didn’t want to leave.

I was staring up in the sky, my eyes were locked in one place. Like a still of movie scene. Within my frame, all I could see was the top of a bare tree on a backdrop of a silver clouded sky—just like a blank metal slate for a tintype photograph. The sky, like the reflection of a silver herring took up my entire periphery.

With the top of bare tree perfectly center in frame, a little bird lands on top of the highest branch of the tree, symmetrically centered in the middle. I just stared at the silhouette of the bird. At this point, Stella Was a Diver and She’s Always Down by Interpol was playing. I wasn’t really listening to the lyrics, as I was entranced by the view and feeling my body swing back and forth in a steady momentum through the air.

But when I became aware of the closing lyrics of the song:

There's something that's invisible
There's some things you can't hide
Try to detect you when I'm sleeping
In a way you say goodbye

The bird took off in flight into the air, disappearing out of view on the exact moment the final word, “goodbye” was sung.

So peaceful. So incredibly graceful of the world to display this scenery for me.

I am used to sharing the world, but it’s nice to have a moment alone with it once in a blue moon, that’s for sure.

I didn’t leave until it started getting dark out. I walked a total of 8 1/2 miles through the cold and rain. Today, I’m laying bed with a feverish cold, sipping on broth, writing this. So, maybe I wouldn’t recommend it… But even still, I wouldn’t have traded yesterday for anything.