IN ETHEREAL

Nothing exciting happens to Paul. But today is going to disrupt all that because today the world is ending.

It was just like any ordinary day as they would say. My alarm clock annoyingly rang only once because I never hit ‘snooze.’ I got out of bed, took a cold shower to wake myself up, and proceeded to get dressed for work. I buttoned my freshly pressed shirt which I ironed last night and decided between a gray tie or a navy tie for approximately two minutes. I worried about ordinary, tedious things— like picking out a tie color in fear of what people think it might reflect about me. Red is too bold, yellow is tacky, and black can be depressing. Navy it is today.

With a name like Paul, I only have to keep my appearance to the bare minimum. Paul’s don’t really stand out in any exceptional way. At least that’s what I’ve come to believe. It’s better o to play it safe- fit in. I brushed my teeth, flossed, and picked up my comb. The comb glided across the sandy blonde strands on my head until it was neat. I carefully examined for any grays in there. Thirty-two is too young most would say, but with the amount of work-related stress I endure, I wouldn’t be surprised. Tuesday is watering plants day. While my coee is dripping, and my microwavable breakfast sandwich is cooking, I give each plant the amount of water according to the online guide on how to “make sure your plants are thriving in your little apartment.” I inch one pot towards the window catching sunlight. The sunlight began burning my hand through the glass; I instinctively ripped my hand away. I thought how odd that was, even for July. I pulled the plant back from the window sill thinking it would potentially burn the leaves if I left it there all day. I looked down out the window to see another perfect day of people strolling down the street and cars passing by.

I proceeded to turn on the television and flip to the morning news station to see my morning pals. These were the faces I knew better than anyone else because they’re always there. I can rely on that. However, their message was less positive this morning, despite their warm and happy smiles. The headline read:

Breaking News: The World Will End Today.

I leaned forward flabbergasted by that headline. I turned up the volume. This must be a prank from the telecasters or something. Yeah, of course it is, I think to myself. I chuckle and shake my head.

“Well, Matt, the world is finally ending.” The female news anchor said only slightly disheartened.
“That’s right Kate, how will you spend your last remaining hour of your life?” He turns to her, cupping his hands calmly.
She shrugs, smiling, “Spend it with you, of course!” She exclaimed cheerfully.
“Awe.” He replied, patting her hand. You could hear echoing “awes” from the crew in the background.

I immediately changed the channel to a dierent station, something I would never normally do. Every headline read something in the lines with “The End of The World is Here.” Most stations were explaining that the sun will in fact, engulf the earth. Yet everyone remained perfectly content. I stood up dropping the remote— batteries spilling out onto the floor.

This can’t be happening, I thought to myself perplexed. I have always been a person who lives in cold sweats, so I’m usually used to the feeling, but this was a new level. My anxiety was swallowing me whole; I was beginning to panic. The overwhelming amount of fear felt like my skin getting peeled o, revealing all the horrible truths I kept inside me, suddenly exposed in the air.

I rushed out of the building, ignoring the rest of my morning routine. I burst out the front door of my apartment causing the people on the streets to notice my paranoiac reaction. An elderly woman was strolling just below the steps.

“Ma’am, Ma’am!” I stopped her mid stroll. My sudden approach startled her. “What is going on? Why are people saying the world is ending?” Her face turned to a pleasant smile. “Oh- well, that’s because it is ending... in about...” she glanced at her watch, taking her time like the earth wasn’t in fact about to burn up, killing us all “...Fifty-seven minutes I suppose.” She nodded with a sweet smile showing off every age line she possessed and carried on, waddling away.

I tugged at my hair, messing up the combing I did earlier. What kind of sick practical joke is this? A younger couple was headed my way. I quickly ran down the street, stopping them in their tracks. Similar to the elderly lady, the couple looked taken aback by my facial expression.

“Aren’t you afraid? Why isn’t anyone afraid??” I shouted, straining my voice. They both seemed alarmed by my franticness but felt obligated to answer. She looked at me as if I were the insane one, holding back a bit of laughter. “Why would we be afraid?” She and her boyfriend looked at each other. “Because the sun is about to swallow the earth?? We’re all going to die!” I yelled. A drop of sweat plunged down my forehead hitting the pavement. I could feel my insides twisting and turning.

“Well.. we’ve lived perfect lives. I feel content with how I spent mine.” She said confidently. Truth rang in her eyes with that statement. The boyfriend nodded in agreement. They smiled adoring each other. I was at a loss for words and they continued on, walking down the street, hand in hand.

I watched everyone around passing by me go on with their lives in peace. No one was petrified like I was. Then suddenly... I got it. Everyone is fulfilled with how they’ve spent their lives, young or old. Everyone but me.

Now I have to reflect for the next fifty-five minutes on how I have wasted my entire existence. How that time in the fourth grade I gave up my good snacks just so the kids would let me sit with them for one day. How I stayed inside and never went to a single football game just so I could focus on homework in high school and college. How I didn’t ask Sarah Johnson to the spring formal in eleventh grade because I was too afraid of rejection only to later find out three years later actually liked me. Or how I spent my entire college years trying to win my parent's love and aection by making them proud of me which they never would be. I am an only child for god’s sake. But now I see that’s not my fault. Their rejection is because they never wanted kids and only cared about themselves. Why is it that I wasted my entire life getting pushed around trying to please every single person who never once cared about me?

I muddled into a park and sat down on a bench. I leaned back with sweat pouring down my face, drenching my shirt collar. I can’t tell if it’s because of my emotion or that the sun is getting closer. I loosened my tie, ripping it off with one hand so aggressively out of frustration, I whacked it on the wooden slates causing a cracking sound of wood splitting. I’m a klutz, I have always been a klutz! I pulled my hand in— caressing it like a feeble, wounded animal. What a baby... I then purposely proceeded to punch the bench in frustration with myself after realizing how pathetic I was. When I was done letting out my anger on the bench, I laid back, sulking slowly with my bruised hand lying limp beside me. I watched the blood pull from my knuckles. A simple, yet weird and unusual sight coming from my own body.

I looked up and watched kids run around and laugh in the grass; playing fetch with their goldendoodle, flying a kite-shaped like a Japanese fighter fish, and couples picnicking in the park, reading a book. This is how they will spend their remaining minutes?

Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing in my pants pocket. My parents saying goodbye, I’d hope. I glanced down to see it was my supervisor. A feeling of wretchedness in my heart, I will admit. “Hello?” My voice cracked lightly. “Paul, buddy, pal, where are you?” His cocky, jock-like tone glided through the line.

“The world is... ending.” I managed to choke out, breaking the news to him. His laugh echoed through the phone.
“So, what? That means you can’t come to work?” He mocked me in a belittling tone. I’m befuddled by how everyone is reacting towards this. I could feel my blood racing in my veins– boiling by the second.

“What’s the point? For you to make me pick up your papers you deliberately drop to embarrass me? Or do your assignments for you?! To hire attractive assistants for you to flirt with and degrade to feel better about yourself?! I thought I was pathetic- you’re pathetic!” “Whoa, whoa- Pau-

“Fuck you, man!” I threw the phone on the ground, watching the screen shatter. A phone we once all waited 6 hours in line for to get on opening day. Now destroyed on the pavement. I can see how useless it is to me now. I started laughing. A slight bit of empowerment came rushing over me. But despite how great those seconds felt, it was short-lived. I was reminded how alone I was again. Every bit of regret was rushing around my weak, simpleton mind at once. How I never found love, how I never took trips, how I wasted my life pleasing others. Tears began filling up my eyes. I let them fall. I never cried before today. I sat, hunched over, letting the scorching sun beat down on me, hoping I’d burn up before anyone else. I watched each tear, one after another hit the pavement, soaking up in an instant.

Suddenly, I could no longer feel the heat burning my skin. A shadow blocked the sun. I looked up.

A woman-figure stood before me, blocking the sunlight in a way that a golden aura shined around her. Her beauty was undeniable. I thought, ‘She is an angel perhaps?’

There was something... off… about her. Her face literally glowed and her facial expression remained perfectly still and calm. I took a few seconds collecting myself trying to configure what I was witnessing. She possessed the biggest and bluest eyes I have ever seen; I became lost in them as they were penetrating my soul to its’ core. This made me feel like maybe I did have one after all.

I had never felt so intimidated and intrigued by someone’s eyes at the same time. Her presence wasn’t demeaning, but rather inviting. Looking beyond her eyes, I noticed more details that made her striking. Her satin-like black hair was longer than her torso, almost to her calves, and curled at the ends, carefully dancing in the gentle breeze. She was dressed only in a skin-tight, white skirt made of a glossy fabric. Almost as if spiders had spun silk directly onto her body.

Her figure was human-like, yet she was entirely other worldly. She had what appeared to be tattoos all over her body, from her toes to her collar bones. Some were pictures of things the human mind simply couldn’t comprehend and others like strange, but somehow familiar alien symbols I couldn’t make out from this distance. Every inch of her skin was covered except her neck and face.

I glanced down at her feet; a shadow came from below them as if she were lightly levitating o the ground. If it were any other day, I’d run for my life, but today couldn’t get more unusual. I thought I’d soak up her beauty, not minding it being the last thing I’d see.

“Who are you?” I finally asked unavoidably. Her expression changed for the first time as if my voice triggered something in her. She smiled in a contagious way. It was so beautiful to see. It sent shocks down my spine. She looked pleased to see me, like she knew me or we had met before. An old friend.
“I’ve waited for you.” She said faintly in perfect English. I could ramble on by asking what she meant by this, but I found no point in doing that. I opened my mouth to say something, but the words didn’t come out.

She continued speaking instead. “I am here to grant you three wishes, Paul.” The golden light of the sun was shining even brighter around her, as our dying planet was getting closer, yet I wasn’t aected by this. I tasted her words on my tongue for a bit as I tried to comprehend what she just said. How did she know my name? I opened my mouth to ask, but the words still couldn’t find their way out.

She could tell I was discombobulated and she continued, “You can wish for anything your heart desires, Paul.”

I wanted to ask so much. What is your name? Who are you? Etcetera. But somehow it all seemed pointless now. Three wishes? I could fulfill my life. I chuckled, wiping my mouth in disbelief, contemplating her words.

I already knew what I would wish for. A tear came to my eye as I proceeded to ask, “I wish to see the world, Please.” I looked at her- dead in her eyes, bigger than any eyes I’ve ever seen, much like a doll. She bowed her head, agreeing to it. Her hand laid open in front of me, as if asking me to take it. I hesitantly reached forward not knowing what to expect. “You don’t have to be afraid, Paul.” Her voice echoed. But I wasn’t afraid. For the first time in my life. I wasn’t afraid, not anymore. I grasped her hand while taking a hold.

Instantly, I was being transported into what felt like another dimension. Flashes of every monument across the world being fed into my mind. I could see a myriad of sights, smell and taste millions of foods, and hear dierent languages. I never let go of her hand. I came out of the trance-like-state with knowledge of every corner of the world. It was as if I had seen it all without having left the park. I was overcome with raw emotion. She watched me, as if waiting for me patiently to be done with reflecting on my experience. I looked up at her, amazed by what she had shown me. I noticed the tattoo growing up her neck. It was a picture of the Giza Pyramids, Great Wall of China, and all different languages written across her skin. In amazement, I watched it, like vines, creeping up until it hit her jaw and it stopped.

“I want to know what true love feels like.” I stated boldly; Excitedly. She approached me, closely, taking my head into her hands and placed her plush lips on mine. It was as if the kiss was feeding me dierent emotions and feelings. Things I had never felt before and never knew were possible. I felt like my heart was literally dancing around my ribcage, and growing out of my chest like a flower. I felt light as air, until I literally came to realize we were floating o the ground. I didn’t open my eyes, taking in every bit of this. When she gently parted her lips from mine, I felt content, and at peace. Tears were running down my face. Looking at her, I knew I wasn’t in love with her, but that she gave me the experience of what it felt like to be in love as deeply as this felt. I watched the tattoo growing on one half of her face, covering her cheek, stopping just below her eye. “How beautiful.” I muttered and then closed my eyes again, taking in the warmth of love that traveled through my body.

“Paul.” Her soft voice brought me out of my trance and to where I was.

I opened my eyes and noticed something dierent. It was much brighter than before. The sun had consumed the blue sky and no one was left around. It was dead silent in the park. No cars, no laughter from children, no voices, nothing, just absolute silence. The trees and buildings appeared to be melting, like candle wax.

“How are we not burning up?” I asked calmly. She glanced down at our hands, intertwined like ribbons. I realized she was protecting me with her unexplainable magic. I couldn’t feel the heat. It was just as if I were watching everything like a movie. I knew this was it. “The end” as you’d call it.

I turned to her and said, “I’m ready... I want to know the meaning of life.”

She grasped my hands tightly with the most pleasant smile I had ever seen. She looked at me like she knew me as a mother, a best friend, a lover; I felt connected and loved. I peered into her eyes, even bolder now that her face was covered in black ink, and seeing the world burst into flames behind her. I waited to see, hear or feel something telepathically. The world was turning from bright yellow to white which should’ve been blinding me, but wasn’t.

The tattoo began growing across the other side of her face in patterns I was desperately trying to make out. They seemed so familiar, yet so foreign. I was confused that this was happening when my wish hadn’t even been granted yet. The tattoo filled up her entire face to where only her baby blue eyes stood out in the madness of black ink that was her skin.

But then- seeing her complete now... something became evident to me. I was overcome with a sense of enlightenment. And I knew.