He was so pure in his expression. He was David Lynch.
Homage to the brilliant storyteller
It starts with denial.
I saw a post on TikTok with zero likes, zero comments, zero favorites. It was a low-grade, copied and pasted image of David Lynch saying ‘RIP legend.’
I scoffed and closed out of the app, leisurely scrolling and tapping my fingers away to the internet to type in his name—for reassurance of course. Reassurance that someone just posted that nonsense.
But Sadie, you did the same thing when Jane Birkin died. You laughed thinking some new admirer posting old photos of her meant she’d be dead in this day and age, but she had really passed, I thought to myself.
I typed faster. And there it was.
The confirmation I didn’t want.
News posts everywhere, only minutes old, it was still breaking news. But no official “Died on:” date from Wikipedia yet.
I felt my throat tighten and the tears flooding up like someone turned on a faucet. I tossed my phone beside me. I sulked and began the first round of tears of the day.
….
I knew it was coming too. And even then, I am still upset. I knew he was sick for a while, it wasn’t a secret. But I still didn’t want this day to come.
I haven’t seen so many beautiful edits and homages come in so quickly on the internet like this before. I felt better that there were other people who were just as affected as I was.
My dad texted me first and tried to make it positive. Looking on the bright side that he left us with so much great works.
My mom called second. She was in a hurry but checked on me and sounded more sad.
My brother texted shortly after breaking the news to me, a little too late.
…
But what followed later in the day was people asking me about it and as I expressed my sadness they said, “I don’t understand why you’re so upset over someone you never knew?”
So this is why I am writing this.
…
I’ve gently mourned (you know, shed a tear or two) other public figures I didn’t personally know before, and writing this had made me realize there is a trend. That I admire and find comfort in these people who love life so much and seem to have it figured out the exact way I wish I did. Or, experience it the way I wish I did while being aware of the horrors of existing simultaneously. I love watching them feel life through their eyes and souls: i.e. Jane Birkin, Anthony Bourdain—just a couple for example. But besides that, I realized Lynch was the last of the living of artists/people I admire and connect to so deeply. Maaaaybe Paul Banks is the last… but he’s not going anywhere for a while.
With this said, I do find Lynch to be a brilliant artist and do like most of his films and Twin Peaks, but my admiration is more simple than that. I found him to be such a remarkable and comforting human being.
He was a once-in-a-lifetime storyteller, and genius mind. And someone I looked up to creatively, absolutely.
But more importantly, he had character, heart, and confidence like no other. He was very sure of himself and what he wanted. Absurd, impractical even, or repetitive habits that served only himself. That is the kind of power that very few have. An unwavering sense of self. And most people who have that kind of personality (especially men) are usually destructive with it.
However Lynch was kind, gentle, and rarely had a filter. He spoke his mind and was unintentionally funny in doing so. He had love beaming out of him for his dear friends and that was stunning to see. He never tolerated hate. He was progressive for his time featuring a trans character in his show in 1990. With any backlash he, the network, or the trans community faced, he told the phobes “to fix their hearts or die.”
And while many artists like himself probably struggled with the mind, he somehow—what seems like he did—conquered it. Or make peace with the darkness. Through his seminars, paintings, films, and even music. Never surpassing the horrors we see, but transcending them. Accepting it and utilizing it somehow. Nothing is permanent and everything is flexible. Every thought, idea, experience, feeling.
He got me into meditation back in 2017. While I was in a really dark and lost time in my life too. From there, it expanded a lot of what I knew about myself and reality. Which 8 years later, with much discipline and practice, I’ve found a sense of peace in existing. Thanks, David.
But more than that. I just admired his absurdity in everyday life. I loved everything he said. He was so pure in his expression.
I want to share a few of my favorite things/moments by him:
“Today I’m thinking about trees and how beautiful they are.”
“Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”
“Everything I learned in my life-I learned because I decided to try something new.”
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
“I think that ideas exist outside of ourselves. I think somewhere, we're all connected off in some very abstract land. But somewhere between there and here ideas exist.”
“The world is as you are.”
“I don't think it was pain that made [Vincent Van Gogh] great - I think his painting brought him whatever happiness he had.”“No matter what the weather is, I wish for all of you blue skies and golden sunshine internally all along the way.”
I loved his bits of wisdom and his love for coffee, donuts, and cigarettes. I loved his appreciation for slow and simple things—the little gifts. I loved his patience in decade long crafts—and non-threatening, temperamental impatience to filming one simple scene. I loved his intense curiosity and quench for knowledge. I loved his no-bullshit attitude and sailor’s tongue. I loved his wisdom and metaphors for creativity, making art, and life in general.
I didn’t know him in real life, nor did I know his true beliefs, morals, or character behind closed doors. I only saw the same person we all see through a screen. But from all of what I have seen growing up, I can say he made me feel good. Hearing his voice was a sense of relief and comfort in my life.
Really- he just seemed like he’d be a great person to meet, shake hands with, and if one was lucky enough, to sit down and have a cup of coffee and chat with.
And having that quality is simply enough to grieve—even a little bit—even a day—for a person who passed away.
